I tried to start eating my favorite food ( I am a fan of good and healthy food) but it didn't help. I tried going to bed earlier, sometimes just walked or short runs. Anyway, I wasn't the same person. I had changed and had to do something different. One day, I just decided to force myself and went for a 5 miles run. Went through a different area in a park and was "ok". Felt tired but finally that day I slept so good!!!.....again...
Some days I really wanted to run but was my mind the one who pushed me down with a lot of memories of my daddy, our wonderful trips around the world, so many memories. It was a very weird "way of living" for me because I normally was missing him and thinking of when we were going to meet again, etc, etc....and then I realized in those low-sad moments that he won't ever be there again, was a very frustrating and sad though.
Step by step, I was pushing myself to run again. After a month, I started to sleep better but: Just running a max of 2 runs per week and I had a marathon to run in 2 months and a half!!!
Those days when I really enjoyed my run and felt a good spirit on me, I was thinking "I feel good but I don't time enough to train for a marathon in so few time". But as I always like to challenge me, to quit wasn't on my options.
Started to have more energy, doing all my strength recovery, feeling great running again, but, I was pushing very hard to myself. I knew its not good, I knew I could get injure, but my runner spirit was challenging. I took a breath, let some days my muscles to rest and recovery, and came back stronger. During my long runs I used to imagine me crossing the finish line of the Chevron Houston Marathon 2017. I use Facebook a lot to interact with my friends all over the world. I wrote sometimes " If I finish this marathon, it will be my stronger mentally and physically moment of my life"( Thank you to all my friends that are always supporting me and sending so much love after the bad moments).
I got focus in my goal again: Finish this marathon. Started to remember every detail during my runs. The breathing, my body posture, started to lift some weigh again, strengthening my muscles, knees and hips. I was completely feeling that I was back, stronger, and even the hard time that could be the season changing, rain and cold, I was back, and nothing was going to stop me but....I just had ONE MONTH to go to run this marathon.
I focus in all the recovery tips I've always knew and herd. I had to recovery faster than ever to keep me pushing hard, sleeping better, eating adequate, doing exercises to help and get stronger knees and hips. Everything, all I could to improve my body and set my goal, I did it. Every week, I started having less bad and sad memories of my dad. All this strength and energy cleaned my body. Even when my mind and brain were stuck, my body asked me to do it, pushed me, even when I din't have the energy, when I didn't have the time to train for a marathon with the correctly ways, and guess what? On January 15th 2017 I was already at the place, I couldn't sleep, I was so excited and just couldn't wait to test myself. I didn't finish the complete marathon training, but I was so mentally and physically ready. I had my Protein drink for after the marathon, my gels to take during the race, I was so focus, so ready, so ME again, I know my dad was so happy for me too, I know he could see me and was so proud of all the strength I could find in myself, and was there, so ready to start my marathon!
The weather was changing as always in Houston. We had yellow and red flags due the weather. I had a very fresh long sleeve but after some miles I had to take off and after some rainy miles on again . Sadly in all these clothe changes, I lost my LAST 2 gels!!! Who loses 2 gels in the last miles of a marathon???!!! Me. Good I was very good hydrated during all the race, and just keep going, and going, focus in my breathing, posture, trying to don't pay attention to all my tired and sore muscles. No more gels, but were so few more miles and I was decided to finish.
The last mile OMG I was just saying myself how proud I was of myself, all the pain and sore muscles was just like a sensation, I was there less than a mile. All the people that cheer me up during the streets: I'll never forget you, you never forget those moments when you're trying to breath and a kid or somebody at the sidewalk made you smile. All the family and friends that go to support their runners, they give so much love to all the runners, the volunteers always with a smile, the policemen, thank you, for being there and cheer me up too. I crossed the finish line and immediately look at the sky smiling, and I said to my dad "I love you this medal is for you daddy". Also said to my self "I love you and you're amazing".
Everybody has so much power inside. Sadly, the hardest moments can be the big opportunities to let all your power show you the way up. But never lose your way. The energy we need in every step of our lives in just inside us. Look for it!
"You never know how strong you are, until to be strong is your only choice"
Carolina Muriel
I am a runner and I run with my heart.
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